One more day

Tomorrow is our big pregnancy test day! It seems like it's taken forever to get here. I'm sure today will be a long day. I have pregnancy symptoms, but I'm on nightly progesterone shots too, so my symptoms could be because of those. My friend, Jen, though didn't have any symptoms post IVF and she got her BFP (that's big fat positive). I do, so I'm really hopeful we're preggers!

It's been an interesting 2 weeks. It started with the egg retrieval...did they mature/fertilize/make it past a couple of days? Then the transfer...lying on my back for 3 days and hoping the egg implants. Then the progesterone check which led to no change in our nightly dose. Now the next step is the pregnancy blood test.

Saturday my defense mechanism set in. I started planning for Plan B (heh--more like plan L or MNOP). What will we do if this doesn't work? Why am I even thinking this way? Do negative thought affect the outcome? Then the fantasy sets in. No, I AM pregnant. I can't wait to hold him, her, them. I wonder what kind of nursery we'll have. Dreams of nightly feedings, baths, onesies, pjs, runny noses, cars when they're 16, college education. It's amazing how far I've taken it, but I must admit I enjoy this part..the fantasy. It's hopeful. For one more day, I get to hope that I am pregnant and that we will have the family soon we've wanted for 3 & a half years now--really our whole lives I guess. A part of me wants to push back the time the nurse calls us with the results on the chance that the test comes back negative.

The way I physically feel, though, I'll be shocked if it comes back negative. I realize a lot of women have pregnancy symptoms that are psychological. You want it so bad you read into anything. I really do feel pregnant though. I'm expecting a positive, but it's kind of hard to go there 100% when I'm so used to getting a negative. Just so you know, if it is positive every single one of you will hear the cry heard round the world!! I will be so ecstatic I won't be able to contain myself!!!

Please keep praying. We're almost there!